The Wind Knocked Out Of Me

A sleepless night after getting the wind knocked out of me exposed my sensitivity, my vulnerability, my humanity. Am I wrong? Is he wrong? There is no wrong or right, it simply is. I know this much is true...I am a woman, an honest woman, a pure woman and I want to be loved the way I love, as much as I love! Proclaiming such opens my soul and leaves my heart in the hands of another.
Dear Mr. Somebody, please handle with care because inside this strong, energetic, motivated, independent, adventurous free spirit dwells a sensitive soul that is not bound by meanness but by grace. If something would hurt you, a strong guarded man, then would it not do the same to me?
The way I love...the miracle, the gift that we call love is so sacred to me that I nurture it, care for it and handle it as one would care for a newborn baby. When I love Somebody my entire universe changes. I become blind. I always see all of God's creatures; tall, short, fat, thin, wrinkles, dark, light, blond, brunette, strong, weak as beautiful beings. But when I am in love my vision becomes much like an abstract painting. These beautiful creatures are not really visible or definable to me except for the one that stands front and center and that is My Somebody. For it is he that I only see. I am blind to the rest. Sure I see their silhouette and am aware of their presence however I cannot see them. For this is how I love and want to be loved.
Is it enough for My Somebody to notice my inner beauty alone? I think not. Certainly inner beauty is the most important matter however I want my love to see and acknowledge my exterior beauty as well. I am beautiful. I have a beautiful soul but I do see the reflection in the mirror that reveals a beautiful shell. Olive skin, perfectly distributed wavy black and grey hair, deep warm dark eyes, a pronounced nose, a wrinkle-less face, curves, softness and femininity.
How I see My Somebody...the perfect masculine body, the most soulful beautiful eyes my eyes have ever seen, a gloriously sculpted face, long curly hair, sweet fair skin, a proportioned nose, a distinguished mustache and delicious lips.
And on this new day at the threshold of dawn I let go of yesterday and embrace a new beginning. Since there is no right or wrong; there is nothing to forgive. It simply is.
I still love you Carl.